This is a pretty good story. It is
very well structured, following the inverted pyramid model. The lead sentences
gives the viewer the most important information and uses words that evoke
emotion in the viewer like “executed,” “rape,” and “murder.” Obviously all of
these are big issues so the viewer would most likely want to learn more. The next two sentences of the lead expand to
give more information while still keeping it very interesting.
Also, near the end of the story
once the viewer has received adequate information on the murder and execution,
the story goes further in detail explaining why the lethal injection he
received was different than other ones. This isn’t the most important
information in the story so it’s at the end, but I was still interested to I’m
happy it was included.
There are, however, two things I
would change about this story. The third sentence in the lead starts with the
dependent clause, so I would just switch the order to begin with the
independent clause. Also, in the middle of the story, it cuts to an interview.
I think the sound bite they chose was very fitting to the story—it was emotional
and was integrated well into the rest of the story. However, no attribution was
given. From what the person said, I can infer that they had some sort of close
relation to the victim, but I have no idea if it was her father or her brother
or a friend or what.
Overall, I think it’s a
well-written story.
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