Jane Burnett's Lead Critiques

1.) This New York Times article's lead got straight to the point. The article itself is about Monday's Washington Navy Yard shooting. But after the dateline, the single-sentence lead flows perfectly. First, the gunman's identity is revealed. Then, the number of people killed and the day of the week were given. Lastly, the resulting partial lockdown of DC, as well as the aftermath, were mentioned. The who, what, where and when were all stated in the first sentence. 

In terms of the tone, this lead keeps things serious- not only because of the prestige of the New York Times media outlet itself, but also because of the subject of the article. If colorful language that could be misinterpreted was used, someone could get offended and condemn the Times for not recognizing the gravity of the situation at hand. 


2.) The lead featured in this Reuters article gives enough necessary information about the topic to paint a clear picture of the subject. The article is about the burglarizing that started today in Mexican beach resort Acapulco in light of recent flooding. Like the lead in the first article I wrote about, this lead also flows well. First, the writers identify the looting itself- as well its setting (Acapulco, today). Next, the writers mention the Mexican government's ongoing problems reaching tens of thousands of flood victims. At the end of the lead, the reader finds out that at least 80 people have already died due to the storm. The lead provides the who, what, where and when. Since the how and why are not described in detail, readers are most likely feel prompted to read on.    


3.) Although the conversationally-phrased title ("Government shutdown: Again? Seriously?") of this CNN article grabbed my attention, the lead still leaves the topic unclear at first. When I started reading the first sentence, I expected the topic to jump out at me, but it didn't! Before looking at the title, one might think that the article is literally about a movie. So naturally, they'd read on, ready to find out what film Senator John McCain could possibly be referring to. 

However, one might argue that the article's title is the topic itself. But in this case, the lead's only job is to render the subject of the article even clearer. Reading further into the article, I noticed that the topic began to get the attention it deserved four (or even five) paragraphs in. 

If I had the option of editing this lead, I would not leave it the way that it currently is: "Washington (CNN) -- "We've seen the movie before," Sen. John McCain said recently on CNN's 'New Day.'"

Instead, I would probably phrase it this way: "The U.S. government will shut down on October 1 if Congress does not come to a consensus on what to do when federal funds are exhausted at the end of the fiscal year this month."