Newsworthy Leads

The lead is the foundation to a successful news story. An effective lead grabs the reader’s interest and keeps them reading. Quotes are normally not used for leads; however, this article successfully went against convention. The first sentence, “Mother Nature is not cooperating” makes the reader want to read on. The article continues by stating that heavy clouds and rain have created deadly floods in Colorado with as many as six dead. All the general elements of a lead: who, what, when, where, and why, are mentioned within the first three sentences. Everything was broken into concise, easy to read sentences while maintaining a conversational tone.

This CNN article was also successful in drawing the audience in with a clear and concise lead. The article details the Navy Yard shooting incident, starting off by answering what (FBI identified dead suspect) followed by when (Monday's shooting), where (Washington Navy Yard), and who (Aaron Alexis). I was impressed with how the author managed to state all the important information within the first sentence in under 25 words. CNN's Navy Yard shooter article is a prime example of the inverted pyramid technique. The first sentence gives the reader the most important information, followed by the next important, and so on. I liked how the article sequentially ordered the most important information under headings. The headings serve as a guide for readers to navigate the story and extract the most pertinent information. 

This Seattle Post Intelligencer article has a less than satisfactory lead due to an overload of information. The author would have been more successful by making her introductory sentence more succinct. The article is about a 12-year-old girl named Rebecca Sedwick who committed suicide after being bullied. The first sentence says, “Some 250 mourners have thronged the funeral of a 12-year-old central Florida girl who authorities say committed suicide after being bullied through online message boards and texts.” The writer tried to cram all five W’s (who, what, when, where, and why) into the lead sentence. Putting all the elements in the first sentence results in a long and convoluted message. Words in a lead should be precise and to the point. It was unnecessary for the writer to begin the lead with “some”. The writer could take out the word some and the sentence would still be clear. The sentence also says, “Mourners have thronged the funeral.” Thronged was a dramatic word choice and makes the sentence more difficult to comprehend. Readers should not have to work to understand the meaning of the sentence. 

A better lead sentence would be…

Twelve-year-old Rebecca Sedwick committed suicide after being bullied. The Florida funeral home was packed with 250 young mourners. Many family and friends wore neon green anti-bullying t-shirts in honor of Hannah. Sheriff’s detectives say she was “terrorized” by as many as 15 girls for nearly a year. Investigators believe Sedwick leaped to her death from a structure at an abandoned cement plant last week.