Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Infamous Lead


1) This CNN article is describing the Naval Force shooting. The opening sentence completely catches my attention and makes me want to read more. Opening with, "Twelve people were killed Monday after at least one shooter opened fire in a rampage at a Navy yard in the nation's capital, putting government buildings on lockdown and sending police SWAT teams rushing to the scene", is really captivating and gives you a sense of fear. The one thing that I would do differently would to maybe not jumble all of the information into one sentence. I would try to break it up a little bit. Something that I might have tried is "Twelve people were killed Monday after a shooter opened fire at the Navy Yard. Located in Washington, DC, the shooter has caused government buildings to lockdown and has sent police SWAT teams to rush to the scene". 

2) Miss. America is one of the largest pageant competitions in the United States, and is an interesting topic to read about. Although interesting, the Huffington Post failed to catch my attention in their article that discussed the winning. It's difficult to connect to the opening because it is asking a very vague statement for the audience to connect to, and isn't really giving information on what the article will be about. Because the article had to do with racist comments towards Miss America, it would have been more catchy if the article began with one of the tweets or an example of what you were about to read. An example of what I may have written is ""More like terrorist #missamerica" read one of the many racist tweets that flooded the internet after Miss. America was selected on Sunday evening."

3) The introduction of a new form technology is always an interesting topic that people flood to. Yahoo! Finance discusses why the new Apple iPhone, with it's plastic material, is the same price as it's metal phones. Beginning the article with "Apple (AAPL) shocked the world last week when it introduced its new plastic-clad iPhone 5C at the same price as some of its prior metal-clad models. What in the world was Tim Cook thinking?" really brings the reader into the article. Not only are they claiming that the entire world was in shock, but they are also asking a rhetorical question which gets the reader curious and interested.

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