Russo Lead Critiques

“Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli II on Wednesday condemned an anti-Semitic joke told by a Republican activist who spoke before him at a rally this week.”

  

I found this lead from the Washington Post to be good for several reasons. It is extremely concise, but gives readers a general idea on what the article will be about. The author names Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli because he is a well-known figure running to be the governor of Virginia, but they do not mention the name of Republican activist until later because he is less-known and less important. The sentence is written in a very simple manner and is not at all convoluted or rambling. Readers are made aware of the events that took place and the reaction to said events in the lead, but get more details by reading the remainder of that article.

“Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff cancelled a state visit to the US on Tuesday to protest against a spy programme that targeted the nation’s government and citizens, striking a major blow to relations between the two countries.”

  

This lead from France 24 is also a good lead. It uses comfortable language and concisely explains the five W’s (who, what, when, where, why). Additionally, it lets readers know why the cancelled visit is important , or why they should care about the story (“a major blow to relations between the two countries”). Also, the structure of the lead is well done, putting the subject first and using an active voice. The lead is easy to understand and gives enough information while peaking the readers interest to continue reading the article to find out more about the cancelled visit. 

“Child beauty pageants may soon be banned in France, after a surprise vote in the French Senate that rattled the pageant industry and raised questions about how the French relate to girls' sexuality.”

I consider this news lead from Fox News to be poorly written for a few reasons. First, the vocabulary used in the lead should be changed. The vote is described as a “surprise” vote that “rattled” the pageant industry. These are both words that convey a sense of emotion and deter from the facts of the story. Even though the lead is long, it doesn’t contain real substance or completely answer the five W’s. Additionally, I think the article is slightly inverted and should start with France being the subject because they did the action of banning. I re-wrote the lead to be more concise (18 words) while addressing the most important facts of the story.

Re-write: France’s Senate voted Wednesday to ban child beauty pageants in an effort to reduce early sexualization of girls.